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Seriously, what does it mean to forgive someone?

The past few days I've been distracting myself with lots of window shopping, and walking around shopping malls. I bought two new dresses for my sister's wedding tomorrow. I bought a matching pair of shoes. But I'm still missing a bag.

I don't have the bracelet and watch that I wear for special occasions with me. I left a lot of things back in Auckland, thinking I would not need them because I thought I was over it. But I'm not. I'm seriously not ready for it. All I've got now is the memory that we were once happy.

The year is coming to an end soon. This time around last year, I had the best summer. I remember we were working on New Year's Eve at the zoo, catering for a wedding ceremony. We went to watch fireworks up on the hill and had a good time together. I wonder how it would be like this year for me.

I'm not afraid anymore. I have nothing to be afraid of anyways. I've already lost so much. I don't want to lose my happy memories, that's all I've got now.