It's been two full months apart, and I'm still wasting my time learning to walk again. I've actually gotten much better the past week. Been doing quite a bit of travelling around town, and catching the trains all on my own to faraway places. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I had the mix drink ("cham" or "yin yeong" = coffee+tea) yesterday around 4pm in the evening. I've seriously learn a lesson. No caffeine after lunch hour.
The whole night, when I couldn't sleep, I thought a lot about many things. Many things about the past, the present, and for the future. I came to a point to realise that maybe, I should be the one dedicating the song in return because he seems to have moved on so much faster. I really admire how he does it. I'm still in disbelief about everything, about all the thing's I've learned about him. It was made very clear to me that hope is lost, because possibly there's new hope for him elsewhere. Maybe I don't know who X really is after all.
I was listening to several other Jay Chou's songs last few days. There were many other songs which I found quite true. Many songs that really meant something for what we're going through, or maybe just what I'm going through on my own now. One thing for sure however, I am not the excuse for hope to be lost.
The whole night, when I couldn't sleep, I thought a lot about many things. Many things about the past, the present, and for the future. I came to a point to realise that maybe, I should be the one dedicating the song in return because he seems to have moved on so much faster. I really admire how he does it. I'm still in disbelief about everything, about all the thing's I've learned about him. It was made very clear to me that hope is lost, because possibly there's new hope for him elsewhere. Maybe I don't know who X really is after all.
I was listening to several other Jay Chou's songs last few days. There were many other songs which I found quite true. Many songs that really meant something for what we're going through, or maybe just what I'm going through on my own now. One thing for sure however, I am not the excuse for hope to be lost.
I guess for now I'm just learning to walk away from the past. I cannot afford to walk down the same path again. Not the path down the Rose Gardens.
I'm actually looking forward to going back to Auckland. I can't wait to start my new life there again. A life that I control on my own, a life that doesn't depend on anyone. A life that I've forgotten two years ago.
It's a long post in the middle of the night. I could've written more, about what I've been up to the past two days, but I shall go sleep now. It'll be sometime before I return to the happenings here. I was told to consider this Taiwan trip a get-away from the "normal" world. A time for me to be disconnected with the haunting thoughts.
Will be looking forward to the trip to Taiwan, and then not long after, I shall move on with my life too.
Have a good rest and good night.
Goodbye and see you soon.
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