What's wrong with me. Why wouldn't I know when to stop. Is it wrong that I feel so unsettled just because there are still things that I didn't know. I was fine to accept that he's gone. But somehow, there is still something lingering in my mind that I just had to make sure.
Each day before I go to sleep, and every morning when I wake up, I will tell myself that it will be a better day.I braved myself once more today in the world wide web, thinking things will not get any worse than it already is. I thought I could've accept this worse situation that I've lost him, and accept that people can move on in their surprising ways.I was wrong. I have been very foolish from the very beginning two years ago, to realise that I did not even had him in the first place.
Apparently the new person in the picture isn't that new after all. Has always been in the picture silently without me knowing back in 2006. All that hidden words and doings behind my back. Can you even imagine my extreme shock and disgust.
Do you even feel the pain that I was literally feeling. The numbness on my hands, the suffocating feelings of not being able to breathe. The tightness in my chest and the irregular heart beats. The pain that you have brought to me, all those lies.
Why did you had to toy with me the past two years. Why didn't you just tell me you are just having fun just so you can get some good times yourself. Why didn't you tell me that you weren't even serious in that relationship of two years.
No wonder you can get over it so easily, barely just one month ago you were still being so nice to me, why.
You never lost anything or anyone. You always had backups, in your Chiropractic college and even back in Malaysia now. There will always be girls waiting for you to talk to you, to cheer you up, and be really close and special friends with you. But why did you have to take them for granted?
I have never felt so much emotions for one person. This feeling is one feeling that I would never ever want to feel again. Uttermost anger and hate to one single person. I've lost all respect and trust in you.
Imagine all these screwed up mess that you think only happens in the movies.
Know how much you'd actually meant to people. Never ever lie to another soul, be true to yourself and those around you,because you never know when it will seriously bite you from the back.
So what do you do when you have your trust betrayed so badly.
Break the spine.
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