Has anyone applied for graduation yet? Will have heaps to sort out when I get back to Auckland. Starting work the Monday straight after. Still need to do some last minute shopping here and get all my work clothes sorted before the Chinese New Year. Will definitely be looking forward to going back, I miss baking. ~o~
Was supposed to go out today, but unfortunately my family is sick, tummy upset which we all suspect was from Taiwan. My younger sister was sick the day we came back from Taiwan. Probably not used to the food there. Weather's been really hot today too, so we ended up had lunch and went for a short shopping trip. Came home pretty early.
I like coming online. The world wide web has so much information that we can gather, about people, about their lives, and about all the surrounding environments. I can learn a lot from just coming into this virtual world. This time around, there is heaps of blogs and social networks that links one to another. I like putting all the pieces together, gathering all these little puzzles, and look at the bigger picture.
But funny thing, seems like I tend to find out things that people don't know. For example, there was this person whom I really respected and admired his passion and determination for sports. His humourous side, and well-manners, even his gentle and caring side, his knowledge about everything, made him a respectable responsible person. Friends and family were proud of him and admire him, and likes him wherever he goes. Even I'd have to admit, he seemed so perfect in every aspect. But apparently there was a different side of the story, a weakness that even one of his friends mentioned to me. Oh wells, no one's perfect. I'm full of flaws anyway, and I thought it's okay to have flaws, and be able to accept them.
I'm beginning to come to terms with it, and be able to accept the current picture. Usually when people end a relationship, it should be an end, and that's it. I had took out my hand for a handshake, called it friends. But apparently it wasn't enough to put a total full stop. It wasn't just from me. I was still given false hopes last month, until I was made very clear that hope was lost finally. That's when I found out, there was another new person in the picture. So is it really my fault that I'm still hurt and upset to this day?
But hey, I am dealing with it. I'm really happy about myself today that I just laughed and didn't cry when I saw the pictures. I know exactly where I am on the map, and I won't even bother to remember my "once we were in love" memories. It seems such a waste to just throw them all out the window, especially when "love" seems to be an ordinary word to some people now. It hasn't even been full three months since all this crap happened.
Just when you think you know someone, that's when you realise the more you don't know. Looking at all of this had really taught me so much about what people can do, and how people can change in the blink of an eye. People find new things to make them happy as soon as possible. I guess I'm slightly different, I really don't mind having time on my own to sulk and be upset. Because by doing so, I will only learn to truly appreciate and not take for granted what people has to offer. Not everything is about having someone to be there just for good times.
I've passed the test of not crying after being so hurt already today. I'm definitely on my way to be better and live a happier life. I don't need to depend on someone who had not respected me at all, not even the slightest bit.
Ah wells, spent another hour or more typing this. I like typing out my thoughts, it's good because I let out all that emotions. It is purely my own thoughts and opinions and the way I see things. If things had to be clarified, if I had understood incorrectly, someone plesase correct me. Typing here is turning to be a hobbie. It gives good exercise to my fingers. Good past time too I would say.
Laters,
~o~
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